
Today in Barmy Bible Study, let's focus on Genesis. The first book of the Old Testament is full of fantastic stories which are, according to fundamentalists, literally true and which demonstrate the power and might of the all-loving god of the Christians and Jews.
Our text tonight is the Noah's Ark story, helpfully condensed by this online Sunday school resource:
Noah and all the Animals | ||||
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A story that will capture the children's attention and hearts! For additional ideas to techniques to enhance telling a story, click here | ||||
Materials: Miniature plastic animals Faces of Mr. and Mrs. NoahDuration: Approximately 10 minutes | ![]() | Topics: Animals, Noah, Listening Obedience, Protection Target Audience: Ages 4-6 | ||
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Once there was an old man who had a veeeery looong beard. He was the only nice person in the whole neighborhood. He worshipped and obeyed God all the time. Then one day, God spoke to him. "Noah, you know what? I'm tired of all your neighbors being so selfish and mean. They don't even know how to share or take care of other people who are poor. They just think about themselves all the time. I tell you what. I would like you to have a new neighborhood, and this is what I am going to do. I will take you to a new place in an ark, because I like you. I will make it rain for forty days and forty nights. There will be a great flood, but you and your family and all the animals will be safe." Noah was surprised and asked, "What's an ark?" God replied, "It's like a boat, but very big. You will have to make it. (As you read the next line, make long steps from one side of the room to the other) It should be wide, and this long, (Then jump and stretch your arm to the ceiling) and this tall. You also have to make it out of very special wood. And you have to do this right away!" Noah squinted and looked at the sky. "Oh, oh!", he said. "I better get going! Mrs. Noah! Mrs. Noah! We need to have food, blankets and hay for the animals. God said it is going to rain for a long, long, long time. There will be a great flood, so hurry!" "But how will we live through a great flood?" Mrs. Noah asked. Noah said, It's ok. I'm going to build an ark so our family and all the animals will be safe in it. So hurry and make all the preparations." Mrs. Noah asked, "What is an ark?" "You'll know what it is when it's done," Noah replied. And so Noah built his ark. It was so long, and so wide and so tall. It had a window and a big huge door. All of his neighbors laughed at him. "What's that silly thing Noah is making?" they would ask. "It looks enormous, and like a boat, but there are no oceans or rivers in sight. No water anywhere." And they kept on laughing. Noah finally finished the ark and as soon as he did, the clouds started to cover the sun. He heard God's voice again, "Noah, it's time to go!" So Noah gathered up the animals, two dogs, two cats, two lions, and two rats. He gathered two tigers, two bears, two of every animal in sight. Some of them just went right into the ark, but Noah had to trick others. After everyone was inside, God closed the door. Inside the boat, Noah's family could see how the sky was getting darker and darker. It became scary and quiet. Then, Noah heard it. A drop, then a second drop, then a third, then another and another, and they came faster and faster, and bigger and louder. After a few minutes, it became a huge storm. The dry land started to get soaked in water. It rained and rained without stopping. After two days of rain, the ark started to float and still the rain kept pouring down. Soon the ark was in the middle of a large ocean. It rained more and more without stopping, for forty days and forty nights. Just like God said it would. Then suddenly, it stopped! The sun began to shine, so Noah sent out a raven to find dry land, but it came back to the ark. He waited a few more days and sent out a dove. It came back with a leaf in it's beak. Then he sent the dove out again. He waited for many days but the dove never came back. "Wow, the storm must really be over!" Noah cried. "I think it's safe to come out now." "Finally," shouted one of Noah's sons, "The animals are starting to stink up the place." "Alright then, let's open the door and go out." Noah and his family and all the animals marched out from the ark to dry land. There was no one else around. Then Noah realized, “so this is the new neighborhood God was talking about.” He had a lot of work to do. "We better get started," said Mrs. Noah. "Yes, but first things first," Noah said, "We need to give God an offering to show him how thankful we are for saving us from the flood." So Noah gave God an offering, and God was very, very pleased with him. |
THE END
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This charming tale remains a perennial children's favorite. After all, what child wouldn't enjoy a story about animals all piled happily in a boat together, "two by two"? Christians uncritically accept this story of the "nice" man and his ark and all the animals as an example of their god's loving protection.
Study questions for Noah's Ark:
1. Why did God tell Noah to build an ark?
2. What did God plan to do? Why?
3. How does the Bible tell us Noah felt when he heard about God's plans for the rest of the people on earth?
About.com provides a helpful synopsis of the story beginning with this line which gets straight to the heart of the matter:
"God saw how great wickedness had become and decided to wipe mankind from the face of the earth." (emphasis mine)
Bible literalists believe that the Noah story is an account of a mass extinction of humanity by their god. The casual way that this global genocide is mentioned in the statement above (and in the Bible story itself) is an example of the way that Christian belief can warp normal human empathy and deaden human awareness of how cruel and immoral mass murder actually is, not to mention the gross injustice of global genocide committed by a violent god angry with a few "sinners". Christianists will tell you that the Noah story is about their god's merciful and protective nature. The immorality of the story and of the god character's behavior in it seems to be totally lost on them.
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Another notable thing about the Noah story is that marked and chilling casual disregard of the writers, main characters (and later of those retelling the story - see Sunday school version above) toward the fate of the rest of humanity. Not once does Noah (or his family members) express any dismay over the horrible fate about to befall their neighbors. This sociopathy is considered righteous and good in the perverted and upside-down "morality" of Bible-believing Christians.

The Noah's Ark story serves two purposes for fundamentalists. First, it establishes the Christian perspective on genocide, wanton cruelty and gross injustice - turning every normal, socially adaptive and moral human feeling on its head by teaching believers - usually starting in early childhood - that violence and murder are acceptable and righteous in the name of their god. Second, it forms a narrative for the Christianist attacks on science and education, which is a necessary prerequisite for an authoritarian theocratic society to become established.
Class review: The Noah's Ark story is summed up quite well by a commenter on the FTB Pharyngula:
"The classic story of glorifying death is the Big Boat event.
They tell that to children because it is so cute. It has a Big Boat and animals and stuff.
It’s a story about the invention of genocide. A Sky Monster kills all humans but 8 and destroys the world. This was supposed to teach people a lesson. It also didn’t work. The Sky Monster had a plan B though, which involved sending himself down to be killed. That didn’t work either. Plan C is to show up someday and kill everyone again.
The Sky Monster’s kludgy fixes usually end up with a lot of dead people."
Raven, on Pharyngula
Class dismissed.