Barmy Bible Study - Abraham and Isaac: A Tale of Unconditional Love

Raising adoring eyes to the heavens, Abraham prepares to slaughter Isaac. Now, that's what I call love!

It's Wednesday night, again!  That's right, time for Barmy Bible Study!

This week in Barmy Bible Study we will discuss the story of Abraham and Isaac. Our text for tonight will be Genesis, 22:1-18 (New International Version):

(Note: Atheists and other haters of GOD'S HOLY WORD, scroll past the blue text)

Genesis 22

Abraham Tested

 1 Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!”

   “Here I am,” he replied.

 2 Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”

 3 Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. 4 On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. 5 He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.”

 6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, 7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?”

   “Yes, my son?” Abraham replied.

   “The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?”

 8 Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.

 9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”

   “Here I am,” he replied.

 12 “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

 13 Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram[a] caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.”

 15 The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time 16 and said, “I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring[b] all nations on earth will be blessed,[c] because you have obeyed me.”

This delightful demonstration of fatherly devotion has been a Sunday School favorite for generations.  Christians believe that little children can learn valuable lessons about unconditional love from the story of the father who was willing to murder his own child, and the Heavenly Father who commanded him to do it.

Study Questions for Abraham and Isaac:

1. What did God command Abraham to do?

2. Why did God command Abraham to do this?

3. How does the Bible tell us that Abraham reacted to this command and what does his reaction teach us?

The Biblical god, Yahweh, was one among many ancient middle eastern gods. At some point in history, not long before the Hebrew Bible was set down on scrolls, a sect of Jews had split away from the polytheism of the region. Although most other people in ancient Israel were still worshipping Canaanite gods, the Hebrews selected Yahweh, (but not his consort, the goddess Asherah), an Edomite warrior god, for singular status. Thus monotheism was born.

Monotheism was a very useful concept in the ancient world, just as it is today. When two people had a dispute, they could fight each other and the stronger might win the dispute, but if they were of relatively equal strength, each could point to hir favorite god and claim that the god demands that the dispute be settled in hir favor. But the mythology confirms that not one of the gods could ever be counted on to reliably settle an argument with hir fellow deities - Athena and Aphrodite or Thor and Loki seemed inclined to continue to duke it out forever. The ancient Hebrews solved this problem by elevating one of their gods to special, singular status and - voila! Their god was bigger than all the other peoples' gods!  Finally, the buck stopped there. After choosing Yahweh as their supreme deity, the Hebrews began referring to themselves as the "chosen" people.

Still, even the top god - the god of gods - can feel a little lonely and jealous from time to time, especially when the other gods are always basking in the fragrant smoke wafting up to the heavens from the burning flesh of children! The Bible tells us that while human sacrifice was still practiced during Abraham's day among populations that worshipped the numerous other gods mentioned in scripture, the people who worshipped Yahweh had evolved a more humane moral conscience. Instead of sacrificing virgin children to appease Yahweh's capricious temper like his rivals' worshippers did, the Hebrews had switched over to spilling the blood of lambs, kids and calves and then burning the slaughtered animals instead. Anyone can see how much better that was and it was usually very pleasing to Yahweh.

It is a burnt offering to the Lord: it is a sweet aroma, an offering made by fire to the Lord. Exodus 29:18

Not good enough, Abraham.

At some point, however, Yahweh needed to know if, in fact, his followers loved him as much as those other gods' followers loved them. The Bible tells us that after finally sending a son, Isaac, to Abraham, Yahweh began to wonder if Abraham might start to love Isaac more than he loved his god.  Because of these perfectly understandable feelings of insecurity,  God decided to test Abraham's love. And what could be more natural than demanding a human sacrifice? After all, the other gods did that all the time. And, since it was Isaac whom the god feared Abraham might be coming to love more, it makes perfect sense that Yahweh commanded Abraham to prove his devotion by slitting the throat of his only legitimate son and burning him to death on a sacrificial altar.

You might think that Abraham would have been paralysed with horror at this commandment and might even have refused to obey it, but you would be wrong. Abraham was a godly man who loved Yahweh.  He was a True Believer™, which meant there was nothing he would not do to demonstrate his loyal devotion - murder, lie, cheat, steal, rape, pillage; everything is permissible when God commands it and whatever God commands must be obeyed, if one is a True Believer who loves God. Abraham did not hesitate. He packed up his donkey, slaves, some firewood and Isaac and set off for Moriah with confidence and, apparently, without a flicker of uncertainty. He lied to the slaves as he left them to take Isaac up the mountain to his doom, and because he was a loving father, he soothingly lied to Isaac when the boy asked where the sacrificial lamb was.

"God will provide" said Abraham, and indeed he had perfect confidence that this would be so. He knew that God had provided for him in the past - hadn't Yahweh finally given him Isaac? - and no doubt he would provide a great reward for the filicide that Abraham was about to so willingly commit. Besides, compared to the glorious works of God, a sign of devotion seems like so little to ask of a filthy sinner. Anyway, as the Bible explains, Yahweh did not really intend to let Abraham go through with the murder. He was just looking for a little love, that's all.

Really excellent advice,
but unfortunately
Bible-believers rarely follow it.

The Bible story of Abraham sets the bar pretty high for most Christians (also the other "people of the book"- I'm looking at you, Muslims and Jews), but millions of the faithful throughout history have valiantly striven ever since to match his devotion to God. Sadly for Yahweh, most fail, because their fatally flawed humanity renders them incapable of the ruthless sociopathy required of a True Believer. Abraham's unquestioning, uncritical willingness to gut and burn his own child is an example of godliness to which all true Bible-believers aspire. For although no one has ever seen God (John 1:18), the idea of the almighty deity is an awesome idea. Indeed, it is an idea which has inspired rare godly men to do unthinkable things for several millennia. The problems of God's invisibility and the unknowability of His will are nothing but a mirage when compared to the certainty of a True Believer. Just as the Bible-believer does not have to see God to know He is there, so s/he does not have to hear God to know what He commands.

Abraham knew what God commanded of him, and he set off immediately and apparently without a qualm to commit a murder. He knew that what he was preparing to do was righteous, godly and just, because it was God's (unknowable, invisible) will. Filled with the joy of knowing God's love in his life, Abraham was ready, willing and able to plunge a dagger into the body of a child to prove his obedience and devotion to God. Even when it turned out that God was only testing him by demanding the blood of Isaac, Abraham did not chastise the deity. Instead, he pulled a ram out of the bushes, plunged his dagger into it instead and offered it as a burnt offering in praise and glory to God.  

Now that's unconditional love!

Class dismissed.

For the LORD your God in the midst of you is a jealous God; otherwise the anger of the LORD your God will be kindled against you, and He will wipe you off the face of the earth. Deuteronomy 6:15.  Understandable, amirite?

Barmy Bible Study - Noah's Ark, The First Genocide

Today in Barmy Bible Study, let's focus on Genesis.  The first book of the Old Testament is full of fantastic stories which are, according to fundamentalists, literally true and which demonstrate the power and might of the all-loving god of the Christians and Jews.

Our text tonight is the Noah's Ark story, helpfully condensed by this online Sunday school resource:

Noah and all the Animals
by Len
A story that will capture the children's attention and hearts! For additional ideas to techniques to enhance telling a story, click here
Materials: Miniature plastic animals Faces of Mr. and Mrs. NoahDuration: Approximately 10 minutes			Topics: Animals, Noah, Listening Obedience, Protection Target Audience: Ages 4-6

Once there was an old man who had a veeeery looong beard. He was the only nice person in the whole neighborhood. He worshipped and obeyed God all the time. Then one day, God spoke to him. "Noah, you know what? I'm tired of all your neighbors being so selfish and mean. They don't even know how to share or take care of other people who are poor. They just think about themselves all the time. I tell you what. I would like you to have a new neighborhood, and this is what I am going to do. I will take you to a new place in an ark, because I like you. I will make it rain for forty days and forty nights. There will be a great flood, but you and your family and all the animals will be safe." Noah was surprised and asked, "What's an ark?" God replied, "It's like a boat, but very big. You will have to make it. (As you read the next line, make long steps from one side of the room to the other) It should be wide, and this long, (Then jump and stretch your arm to the ceiling) and this tall. You also have to make it out of very special wood. And you have to do this right away!"  Noah squinted and looked at the sky. "Oh, oh!", he said. "I better get going! Mrs. Noah! Mrs. Noah! We need to have food, blankets and hay for the animals. God said it is going to rain for a long, long, long time. There will be a great flood, so hurry!" "But how will we live through a great flood?" Mrs. Noah asked. Noah said, It's ok. I'm going to build an ark so our family and all the animals will be safe in it. So hurry and make all the preparations." Mrs. Noah asked, "What is an ark?" "You'll know what it is when it's done," Noah replied. And so Noah built his ark. It was so long, and so wide and so tall. It had a window and a big huge door. All of his neighbors laughed at him. "What's that silly thing Noah is making?" they would ask. "It looks enormous, and like a boat, but there are no oceans or rivers in sight. No water anywhere." And they kept on laughing. Noah finally finished the ark and as soon as he did, the clouds started to cover the sun. He heard God's voice again, "Noah, it's time to go!" So Noah gathered up the animals, two dogs, two cats, two lions, and two rats. He gathered two tigers, two bears, two of every animal in sight. Some of them just went right into the ark, but Noah had to trick others. After everyone was inside, God closed the door. Inside the boat, Noah's family could see how the sky was getting darker and darker. It became scary and quiet. Then, Noah heard it. A drop, then a second drop, then a third, then another and another, and they came faster and faster, and bigger and louder. After a few minutes, it became a huge storm. The dry land started to get soaked in water. It rained and rained without stopping. After two days of rain, the ark started to float and still the rain kept pouring down. Soon the ark was in the middle of a large ocean. It rained more and more without stopping, for forty days and forty nights. Just like God said it would. Then suddenly, it stopped! The sun began to shine, so Noah sent out a raven to find dry land, but it came back to the ark. He waited a few more days and sent out a dove. It came back with a leaf in it's beak. Then he sent the dove out again. He waited for many days but the dove never came back. "Wow, the storm must really be over!" Noah cried. "I think it's safe to come out now." "Finally," shouted one of Noah's sons, "The animals are starting to stink up the place." "Alright then, let's open the door and go out." Noah and his family and all the animals marched out from the ark to dry land. There was no one else around. Then Noah realized, “so this is the new neighborhood God was talking about.” He had a lot of work to do. "We better get started," said Mrs. Noah. "Yes, but first things first," Noah said, "We need to give God an offering to show him how thankful we are for saving us from the flood." So Noah gave God an offering, and God was very, very pleased with him.

THE END

This charming tale remains a perennial children's favorite. After all, what child wouldn't enjoy a story about animals all piled happily in a boat together, "two by two"?  Christians uncritically accept this story of the "nice" man and his ark and all the animals as an example of their god's loving protection.

Study questions for Noah's Ark:

1. Why did God tell Noah to build an ark?

2. What did God plan to do?  Why?

3. How does the Bible tell us Noah felt when he heard about God's plans for the rest of the people on earth?

About.com provides a helpful synopsis of the story beginning with this line which gets straight to the heart of the matter:

"God saw how great wickedness had become and decided to wipe mankind from the face of the earth." (emphasis mine)

Bible literalists believe that the Noah story is an account of a mass extinction of humanity by their god. The casual way that this global genocide is mentioned in the statement above (and in the Bible story itself) is an example of the way that Christian belief can warp normal human empathy and deaden human awareness of how cruel and immoral mass murder actually is, not to mention the gross injustice of global genocide committed by a violent god angry with a few "sinners".  Christianists will tell you that the Noah story is about their god's merciful and protective nature.  The immorality of the story and of the god character's behavior in it seems to be totally lost on them.

God decided to "wipe" humanity from the face of the earth because of the "great wickedness" he saw.  Even if every adult on the planet was a wicked "sinner", little children and babies did not take part in that "great wickedness", yet the god in the story wiped out all of humanity including innocents.  This is the justice of the all-loving, omniscient and omnipotent Biblical god:  it does not use its omnipotence to change humanity to behave as it demands, thus solving the problem without bloodshed. No, instead it creates a species which is inherently prone to behavior which angers the god, and then the god punishes its "beloved" creatures mercilessly.

Another notable thing about the Noah story is that marked and chilling casual disregard of the writers, main characters (and later of those retelling the story - see Sunday school version above) toward the fate of the rest of humanity.  Not once does Noah (or his family members) express any dismay over the horrible fate about to befall their neighbors. This sociopathy is considered righteous and good in the perverted and upside-down "morality" of Bible-believing Christians.

Thankfully, the Noah's story is, of course,  just a myth.  Flood stories abound in the mythologies of countless ancient peoples and the Bible version of it is neither unique nor special in any way.  The only thing that makes the Bible version so well known is that it is the version believed by the dominant cultural group in the western world. Modern geological and archeological research has proven beyond doubt that the Biblical account of the entire world covered in flood waters is false. Nevertheless, young earth creationists persist in peddling pseudo-science called "flood geology" where - in direct opposition to the proper scientific method - religionists posing as scientists look for and interpret "evidence" to fit the Bible narrative. Any evidence that does not fit into the narrative is denied or attributed to scientific (or even Satanic) trickery.

The Noah's Ark story serves two purposes for fundamentalists.  First, it establishes the Christian perspective on genocide, wanton cruelty and gross injustice - turning every normal, socially adaptive and moral human feeling on its head by teaching believers - usually starting in early childhood - that violence and murder are acceptable and righteous in the name of their god.  Second, it forms a narrative for the Christianist attacks on science and education, which is a necessary prerequisite for an authoritarian theocratic society to become established.

Class review:  The Noah's Ark story is summed up quite well by a commenter on the FTB Pharyngula:

"The classic story of glorifying death is the Big Boat event.
They tell that to children because it is so cute. It has a Big Boat and animals and stuff.
It’s a story about the invention of genocide. A Sky Monster kills all humans but 8 and destroys the world. This was supposed to teach people a lesson. It also didn’t work. The Sky Monster had a plan B though, which involved sending himself down to be killed. That didn’t work either. Plan C is to show up someday and kill everyone again.
The Sky Monster’s kludgy fixes usually end up with a lot of dead people."

Raven,  on Pharyngula

Class dismissed.

Easter "Joy"

Even when I was a practicing Catholic, I never quite wanted to "celebrate" the Christian remake of Easter. I was happy to celebrate spring, rebirth, flowers blooming, days getting longer, the Easter bunny and coloring eggs to symbolize fertility and new life - in short, all the aspects of the ancient festival of Eastre that most people enjoy celebrating at this time of the year. But the human sacrifice myth that Christianity grafted on to Easter has always repulsed me.

I think one of the most puzzling and disturbing things about theism is that belief seems to alter the human mind so that otherwise rational, good and decent people are able to accept a doctrine of "salvation through human sacrifice" without apparent discomfort.  In fact, Christians not only embrace this doctrine as the truth, but they consider it to be a beautiful proof of the love of the Biblical god.  Without any apparent irony, most Christians regard the story of the torture and execution of the son-god, Jesus, as the very zenith of joyful good news.

Oh happy day -?!

In any other context, human beings who think bloody human sacrifice is acceptable, let alone good, would be considered sociopathic. An entire culture of them would be considered monstrous. Yet, human sacrifice to gods - bloodshed for religion - is accepted as a normal part of human culture even to this day in some parts of the world. Only in a religious context is such depravity considered not only acceptable but laudatory.

The concept of redemptive blood sacrifice disturbs me on many levels.  It disturbs me that people are told that humanity is in need of redemption - that we are sinful, "filthy rags" condemned by our very nature to an eternity of torture in hell unless we seek "salvation"from a deity - when it is the deity which they also believe created our human nature in the first place. More important is the chilling reality that people accept this vile, self-loathing doctrine. I wonder at the twisted psychology of a faith that teaches little children that they are sinful, hell-bound creatures, and then goes on to tell them that their only path to salvation must be through a bloody human sacrifice that allegedly occurred 2000 years ago.

It disturbs me that the deity that millions of people worship is believed to require a blood sacrifice to expiate the sinfulness of its own creation at all. It seems incredible that an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving god - whose alleged desire is to welcome humanity into its presence - would deliberately create humankind with a curious, independent and impulsively immature nature and then subject the first humans to a life or death test which requires incuriousness, unquestioning obedience and experienced maturity.

It disturbs me that millions of people worship a god that would condemn all humanity for all eternity because of the inevitable failure of the two prototype humans to pass that impossible test because of the limitations of the very human nature with which that god endowed them.  It could make sense if people acknowledged that the god is a viciously manipulative tyrant which only fear kept them worshiping, but instead Christians insist that the mythical monster is a "loving" god.

It disturbs me that the cruel, capricious, psychopathic behavior which is the nature of the Biblical god - it is evident throughout holy scripture that God is all that and worse - must be called just, holy and glorious by its worshipers. Believers never seem to wonder why their omniscient and omnipotent god would require total, abject obedience in the first place nor why it could not - or would not - think of a more humane way for its followers to avoid eternal hellfire for the "sin" of being what they were created to be. It never seems to occur to believers that the deity they truly believe in is actually awful, even evil.

Christians refer to the Passion and Resurrection stories as the most "joyful" part of scripture.  I understand that they think it is the most important part - indeed it is the very foundation of the Christian faith - but I do not understand how people can remain so uncritical of this "salvation".  I find myself wondering how people can suspend normal human horror at such violent cruelty in this one celebrated instance,  calling it necessary and good. Their insistence that a god that can do anything somehow needed someone to die a violent, painful death to satisfy its thirst for vengeance and that this capriciously cruel demand is the greatest love humankind will ever know strikes me as very sad.

Human beings fear death more than anything else. Al Stefanelli writes that through most of history, the horror of dying spawned many versions of the Savior story.  Probably human beings then, as now, felt an awful impotence in the face of their inevitable demise and that sense of impotence may explain the continued acceptance of a doctrine of human failure leading to misplaced faith in irrational belief.

But, while fear and a sense of impotence may explain the willingness of believers to accept a savior myth, I feel that it is early religious indoctrination and psychological manipulation which leads people to sublimate their normal, healthy human aversion to wanton cruelty and to accept the meanest of human impulses - in the guise of Godly judgement - with hardly a murmur of protest.  Cruelty is called kindness, evil is called good and contempt is called love. Such is the bizarrely twisted Christian moral compass.

I suspect that the early Christian conquerers co-opted the pagan Eastre celebrations of springtime fertility not simply to 'win over' pagans to Christianity (they generally achieved this through intimidation and persecution anyway), but to make Christianity more palatable to the masses by entwining the terrifying and immoral doctrine with the more hopeful, joyful celebrations that most psychologically healthy human beings naturally prefer. By fusing the repugnant with the refreshing, Christianity keeps its adherents off-balance and confused about what ought to be the clear difference between goodness and evil.

I do not believe that the Biblical god - or any gods - exist, but I do think that the idea of such a god - and the repulsive religious doctrines built around it - ought to be resisted by all morally healthy people with every ounce of vigor that they can muster.

Replica of torture/execution device is the universally beloved symbol for the religion of "love".